Top 10 Things I’d Like To Say To A Customer

Someday....someday......

10) No sir, I’m not new. I’ve been with this company far longer than you have.

9) I’m not sure sir let me check. "HEY ANYBODY KNOW, AM I SOME KIND OF AN IDIOT”?

8) I can think of 3 reasons why you didn’t get any of the communications we sent you.

a) You’re to dumb to turn your computer on
b) You didn’t pay your phone bill either
c) You’ve talked to the postman the same way you’re talking to me

7) Ma’am you raise a good point. At your recommendation I am going to submit a request to my manager for a hearing test. I just might be deaf.

6) Would you like some cheese with that whine?

5) Well yes sir, it does make sense to me but then I was blessed with the ability to understand even the simplest concept.

4) Hmm… Can I tell you anyone who would buy a brand new luxury vehicle and not protect it with comprehensive and collision coverage? Well…................. let’s see................There’s....YOU!

3) So your contention is that anyone with half-a-brain would not have cancelled their policy. Okay...........I better speak slowly.

2) Well sir, we had no choice. We had to charge it as an at fault accident. The evidence we gathered was compelling. All the other trees agreed. The tree you hit was parked at the side of the road minding its own business.

And the Number 1 thing I’d like to say to a customer.........

I know the ******* company canceled your ******** policy and left you high and dry without any ******* coverage on your ******* brand new ******* vehicle.
But you ignored every ******* letter, every ******* email, and every ******* phone call for the past four ******* weeks.

Perhaps, if you were a little more ******* responsible, you could’ve gotten up off your ******* lazy ******* *** and paid the ******* bill on ******* time for a change so we wouldn’t have had to ******* notify the state on your sorry *** and cancel your ******* policy!

Is there anythingelse I can help you with today?
Thank you for calling.

These are, after all, the musings of a mind that wanders.