My Bucket List

I got this idea from Sean at Samish Patrol and thought I wanted to make my own. It's kinda cool to think about what you've done, what you've wanted to do, what you want to do now and, what you must get done. So here we go.

This is my bucket list.

• (1) Cruise the Panama Canal, Visit Russia, Greece, Italy, and every state in the US



• (2) Learn to raise chickens and cattle and other farm animals



• (3) Work my own small farm



• (4) Have Grandchildren



• (5) Pastor



• (6) Work less...Play more



• (7) Travel the Transcanadian Highway in its entirety



• (8) Work a Lobster Boat



• (9) Write a book



• (10)Take a nap

These are, after all, the musings of a mind that wanders.

My Top 10 List Things Washington Has Forgot

Oh no he didn't!.... I finally got so fed up with the way things work in Washington that I have devised my own top 10 list. Read carefully and remember it is my list...If you want one go make your own. I wouldn't mind knowing what yours would look like. If you decide to make one you may comment here or on your blog and link back to me with a comment. It would be interesting to see what others think.

Well, here we go.....

• (10) From the presidents oath of office..."I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."
  No where does it state that those powers extend beyond our borders.



• (9) The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the Militia of the several States, when called into the actual Service of the United States; he may require the Opinion, in writing, of the principal Officer in each of the executive Departments, upon any Subject relating to the Duties of their respective Offices, and he shall have Power to grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offences against the United States, except in Cases of Impeachment...
  He may manage the personnel and their job description. He may get from congress the authority to deploy on RARE occasion.



• (8) The president shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.
  He can't take the power and then ask. He must ask first and it must be by their advice not against it. In other words he can't do anything unless the Senate says he can.



• (7) That congress is impotent to do anything unless elected to do so. Such election is by the people they want to represent.
  Unions, Political think tanks, Corporations, TV reporters, Newspapers, Glamour Rags, the United Nations and, Political Action Committees, (though run by people) do not qualify!



• (6) It is not a right to serve. It is a pleasure and it is at OUR pleasure that they do.
  'Nuff said?... alright then.



• (5) Rush Limbaugh believes so little in the values he purports that he rarely takes time to vote.
  Do you really believe he should be the front man for conservative thought?



• (4) Political Parties should be something you attend, at your leisure, not something you attend to, as in "I got your back".
  Try something our forefathers used in designing the constitution.... Free thinking! It'll be less expensive for all of us.



• (3) If it walks like a lobbyist, Talks like a lobbyist, and offers money like a lobbyist....regardless of what they might say, it IS a lobbyist.
  While I want you to work for full employment, it's okay for this job to go away....give us back our country!



• (2) Please rediscover your moral compass.
  Set it on "God-Country-Family" and let it be. Religion guides us to lead moral lives; patriotism gives us a feeling of national unity; and our families are a home base - we can always count on them when in trouble.



• (1) Remember your mission statement! A Government of the people, for the people and by the people.
  All of them, not just your cousin Jake downstate, your "mam maw down in alabamaw" or the Political Action Committee you purchased your seat from. (I wonder if that's where the NFL got the idea for "personal seat licenses"?)

These are, after all, the musings of a mind that wanders.

The Jesus of Liberal Conservatism

Merriam-Webster defines Liberalism as: a movement in modern Protestantism emphasizing intellectual liberty and the spiritual and ethical content of Christianity b: a theory in economics emphasizing individual freedom from restraint and usually based on free competition, the self-regulating market, and the gold standard c: a political philosophy based on belief in progress, the essential goodness of the human race, and the autonomy of the individual and standing for the protection of political and civil liberties. And conservatism as: disposition in politics to preserve what is established, a political philosophy based on tradition and social stability, stressing established institutions, and preferring gradual development to abrupt change; specifically : such a philosophy calling for lower taxes, limited government regulation of business and investing, a strong national defense, and individual financial responsibility for personal needs (as retirement income or health-care coverageThe tendency to prefer an existing or traditional situation to change. What follow is, I hope, a discussion showing how 2 diamtrically opposed points of view are not really so far apart when viewed in the context of Jesus.


In Book of Matthew chapter 25 Jesus ascends to the throne and, after separating the flock, looks to those on his right and says "take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me."
And to those on his left he said, "Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me."

Some would segregate these differently. The first group, those that found favor with the King, would be labeled liberals. And those that did not find favor, conservative. Others still would say that the conservatives had found favor for understanding the difference between true need and those who were willfully dependant on kindness and generosity while Liberals were sent away for not understanding the difference between need and desire, misfortune and slovenly habit. The truth lies squarely in the middle. That's where you'll find Jesus.
Again in Matthew chapter 7 Jesus says, "Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you."

And in Matthew chapter 10, "Whatever town or village you enter, search for some worthy person there and stay at his house until you leave. As you enter the home, give it your greeting. If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town. I tell you the truth, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town. I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves."

Clearly Jesus is telling them look, there are all kinds of people out there. Some will need what you can provide and know it. They will seize upon the gift and come to a greater understanding of me. But just because you see a temporal need doesn't mean it is in you to fulfill it. Share me. Let me provide. There will be some with temporal needs who would take what you offer, reject me, then take from you what they don't need simply to say they have it. Simply because they want it. Your job is to provide for the need. Talk to me. I'll tell you when it's time to dig in and when it's time to walk away.

Both sides of the aisle have their eye on serving God and fulfilling the mission. One views suffering and injustice and wants to quiet and fix it without regard to circumstances. Without regard for the choices each has made in how they live their lives and how those choices honor the God who created them. The other wants to be sure that the suffering and injustice is not a circumstance of the victims own choosing thereby condemning them, without redemption, by the choices they have made in their past.

In the middle is what Jesus intended in his teaching. While we want to reduce human tragedy and suffering, often times they are brought on by the choices individuals make in their lives and while it may make us feel better, it is often the adversity that draws them to God. Don't rush in and fix it, he says. Don't tell them their bad decisions were good ones. . If they make bad choices, I wont adjust my expectations. But walk with them and be there for them. Show them I love them and let me fix what needs to be fixed. Don't stand on the sidelines exhorting them to change their behavior so I can demonstrate my love, he says. But walk out onto the battlefield with them and bring them the healing and confirmation of my love that they so desperately need. It is possible to acknowledge the sin as sin and still care for the sinner. After all....I've done so for you.

These are, after all, the musings of a mind that wanders

The Lover of My Soul

Please view this video. It says so much more than I can. Still...I must try! I am unworthy. You must know that before we begin. I am unworthy. That I claim any inheritance in the kingdom is purely irresponsible. I have no claim. If I have any inheritance it is because God is a loving God. A God who seeks me out...who seeks you out, even when we don't deserve it.


There have been times, many times, when I have forsaken what I believe and who I believe in for the more temporal pleasures that surrounded me at the time. I have been so drunk I could not walk straight, so high I could not stand strait, so angry I could not talk straight, and so hurt I could not see straight. Sometimes all of them at the same time. I often look back and am embarrassed by what I've said, what I've done, and who I've hurt. Sometimes all at the same time. I have lied , cheated, and stolen.

I have put on airs. I have pretended to be what I'm not and exaggerated about what I got, how I got it and who I got it from. I talk the talk. I walk the walk....sometimes... but rarely at the same time. I am a fraud. Pure and simple. Some have told me how they respect the way I live my life. Others, those who really know me, just shake their head and walk away. And then there are those few who, unashamedly, don't hang there head. They bow there head. They bend their knee. They pray for me...and.. tell me so...and remind me about my behavior, lovingly.

They point me to the savior who, at long last, I glimpse as if across a crowded room. I look away and look again and he catches my eye. I see him way over there and he's smiling and calling me and pleading me to just come ... come back...come back to him. And I want to. More than anything I want to, but I can't keep my eye on him. I'm sure he's forgotten me but every now and then I catch a glimpse of him.

He is always there encouraging, trying to stay in sight, trying to teach me to hold on tight, and I'm sure, wondering if I'll ever get it right. But he's always there. Always trying to stay in sight...and waiting...and his people are praying, and his servants are saying "don't follow me. Follow him."

He's there across the room. Getting closer, pleading for me, fighting for me, rejoicing over me as I fall at his feet and into his arms. I know I am home. I know I am loved. I know......

These are, after all, the musings of a mind that wanders.

Fellowship Of The Unashamed

This was shared by a friend. I had not known it before. I doubt I will ever forget it.

I am part of the “Fellowship of the Unashamed.”
The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line.
The decision has been made.
I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.

I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.
My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure.
I am finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity.

I now live by presence, lean by faith, love by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.
My pace is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few, my Guide reliable, my mission clear.

I cannot be bought, compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back, diluted, or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.

I must go until Heaven returns, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes. And when He comes to get His own, He will have no problem recognizing me.

My colors will be clear.

I am not ashamed of the gospel . . . Romans 1:16

***The above was written by a young African pastor before he was martyred for the faith***


These are, after all the musings of a mind that wanders.

A Good Message For All Christians

I ran across this recently. It is by Bill and Gloria Gaither.
God Has Always Had A People!

Many a foolish conquer made the mistake of thinking that because he had forced the Church of Jesus Christ out of sight, that he had stilled its voice and snuffed out its life.

But God Has Always Had A People!

The powerful current of a rushing river is not diminished because it is forced to flow underground. The purest water is the stream that bursts crystal clear into the sunlight after it has fought its way through solid rock.

There have been charlatans who like Simon the magician, sought to barter on the open market that power which cannot be bought or sold.


But God Has Always Had A People!

Men who could not be bought and women who were beyond purchase.

Yes, God Has Always Had A People!

There have been times of affluence and prosperity when the Church's message was nearly diluted into oblivion by those who sought to make it socially attractive, neatly organized and financially profitable. It has been gold plated ,draped in purple and encrusted with jewels. It has been misrepresented, ridiculed, blotted and scorned.

These followers of Jesus Christ have been according to the whim of the times elevated as sacred leaders and martyred as heretics. Yet through it all, there marches on that powerful army of the meek, God's chosen people that can't be bought, flattered, murdered or stilled. On through the ages they march.

The Church, God's Church Triumphant, is Alive and Well!

Now listen child of God. It's alive!

Discouraged pastor it's His Church and it's alive!

Lonely Missionary sow your seeds with confidence!

It's alive my broken hearted friend!

Old saint you’re not alone and forgotten, the Church is alive!

Busy mother cast your cares on Jesus!

It's alive young student. You're not alone in serving the Lord!

Faithful father there's rest in the Lord! The Church is alive!

Cynical skeptic you haven't killed God with your noisy unbelief.
He's Alive!

So family of God raise you hands and praise the Lord.

For the Church, God's Church Triumphant is Alive and Well!
It seems to me that we are asking the wrong questions. That's why we fight so much among ourselves. We keep asking "what church do you go to?" when we should be asking "whose church do you go to?"

I don't care if you're Mormon, Catholic, Baptist or even Calvinist.... The only thing I need to know is...

Who do you belong to?

These are, after all, the musings of a mind that wanders.

CAUTION: MY EYES HAVE OPENED!!!!

I am a Liar. I've concluded that, for all my ranting and raving, I am a liar. Okay, maybe liar is too strong a word. How about ...HYPOCRITE? How does hypocrite feel? Better. Okay...

I am a hypocrite! For all my ranting and raving, I have concluded I am a hypocrite. I never follow my own advice. I complain about the conditions of the world, our society, our country, our schools, our kids, YOUR kids, the air, the traffic, customer service, prices, my boss, my job, my employer, the temperature of my coffee...everything. I may not have any solutions but I sure know where the problems are and I am not shy about letting you know what they are, why they are and, in my opinion, who's fault they are. More than that...you would be hard-pressed to convince me that any of the problems are my fault! When I started this I promised I would be honest if nothing else. I would be honest and transparent or exactly "I can promise you honesty and absolute openness". That's what I said in my first post. Go ahead read it.

I've done some self-examination and I haven't been so open...so honest.


Let me begin with this: I'm not such a bad guy. I have issues. I'm always late. I'm often self-absorbed, I lack any sense of attention span. I find it hard to sit through almost any movie at home. I don't like change and that's okay with me. I'm so stuck in a rut that I could eat the same dinner everyday. So I have issues..... don't we all.

That's not to say I don't have my good points. I do. I work hard. I'm not afraid to sacrifice things I want for my family. I faithful...sort of(more to come on this.) I clear my plate. I love and care for animals. I work in my own way to save the environment. I love God. I try to live my life how God wants me to live. I'm relatively smart and and am able to reason things out when given the facts. Not a long list but not so bad.

Here's the thing.

Under self examination I don't look like such a bad guy....on the surface. But I have specific information about the man you can't see. I know what he thinks and feels. And while his heart is in the right place, often the expression is less than perfect. I can he cold and hard-hearted. Distant and uncaring. I often get so wrapped up in myself that I forget others exist. And it gets worse.

I do a lot of volunteering. I believe that giving back to society is important. But, secretly, I find I put myself in volunteer positions that get me noticed and I have to ask myself...is it really because I feel its important to give back? Or ... do I just want people to think it is important to me to give back. I've begun to wrestle with that.

Honestly I want to leave this world better than I left it. I have been the benefactor of many people who, out of kindness and perhaps there own desire to make this a better world when they leave it, seemed to be where I needed them to be exactly when I needed them to be there. It is their willingness to be there that troubles me about my own "humanitarian" effort.

I have begun to recognize that my volunteerism takes the same shape of the christian who prays loudly and often in the company of others so as to witness to their own Godliness. I need to get on my knees and beg forgiveness and then find a way to put God first in everything I do. I need to get off the float in the big parade and learn to let God have center seat. It's about time I matured as a christian and practice what I so often preach about others.

These are, after all, the musings of a mind that wanders.

---

King David:He's alot like me..Wish I were more like him

We all have been conquered haven’t we? At some point haven’t we all done or said something that neither resembled nor complimented the nature of God. A little extra tax deduction draws question to your integrity, a little too much alcohol a little too often and a family suffering under the weight of it. A less than admiral gesture at the person who cut you off in traffic bears witness to a temper out of control. It’s not what we wanted. We never intended for them to happen and know, well, we are a lost cause, not unwilling, but unable to get back our integrity, our self-respect, our control. In the Max Lucado book Facing Your Giants I was encouraged to observe David. First the boy then the man, then the man who would be king, the King and, finally, the man who had his kingship taken.

I am drawn to David in the same way I am to Paul but for different reasons. David was a tender boy with a big heart and unquestionable faith in God. A lowly shepherd, his station would not have brought him much respect. He honored his duty and watched over his flock with the same vigilance he, as young boy, watched over his faith. In reading about him as a boy I was struck with the notion that it would seem incredulous to David that someone would question Gods faithfulness and his mighty protection. This faith is what brought him to face his first Giant and what brought him the unlikely victory in that confrontation. His first Giant... for there were many more. Most more difficult than the first.

We've all had our own personal "giants" to deal with. I have had to fight often with myself regarding my own abilities and even sometimes my own self worth. I've battled with my own self-destructive tendencies, my own addictions, my own shortcomings.

Michael W Smith Describes me well:

I have been unfaithful
I have been unworthy
I have been unrighteous
And I have been unmerciful

I have been unreachable
I have been unteachable
I have been unwilling
And I have been undesirable

I have been unbroken
I have been unmended
I have been uneasy
And I've been unapproachable

I've been unemotional
I've been unexceptional
I've been undecided
And I have been unqualified

In this David was a lot like me. For certainly he was all of those things. The difference between he and me is what was left out of Michael W Smith's song above "I've never Been Unloved"
Here it is:

Sometimes, I have been unwise
I've been undone by what I'm unsure of
But because of you, and all that you went through
I know that I have never been unloved

He understood this more than anyone and he called upon the Lord not just in his moment of greatest victory, but also, in his moment of greatest weakness and tragedy. He faced his failures and laid them out before the Lord openly and honestly. He pleaded for his mercy and danced as a child, gleefully, at his in his own recognition of the awesome power and honor that resided with HIS king, HIS lord, HIS God. David sure had his issues but he understood one thing.

That is the theme of this book and no one can layout it better than Max Lucado when he says:

"You know your Goliath. You recognize his walk, the thunder of his voice.

He taunts you with bills you can’t pay, people you can’t please, habits you can’t break, failures you can’t forget, and a future you can’t face. But just like David, you can face your giant, even if you aren't the strongest, the smartest, the best equipped, or the holiest.

David. You could read his story and wonder what God saw in him. His life has little to offer the unstained, straight-A saint. He fell as often as he stood, stumbled as often as he conquered. But for those who know the sound of a Goliath, David gives this reminder:

Focus on giants—you stumble.
Focus on God—your giants tumble."

David...he really was a lot like me. I wish could be a lot like him.

These are, after all, the musings of a mind that wanders.

Random Acts of Kindness: Matthew 25:35

In my last post. I mentioned a lasting impression that deserved it's own post. It was right out of the bible and I must say, it blew me away.

Matthew 25:35,36

35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,

36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me."

On my trip I had the great pleasure to witness and participate in just such a kindness. Let me be clear..It was not my idea. I was, as a matter of fact, just a bystander seeing the need and wishing someone would fill it. I was much to busy to get involved but certainly someone should. Confused? I'll explain....

I have spoken in previous posts about my older brother and my good fortune to have had him in my life. I also have a twin Brother, James(or Jimi as he goes by now). As a child I called him Jamey. I found out in the fourth grade he hated that. Now Jamey(I can't help myself) is 6 minutes older that me. He used to tell people I "was supposed to be the girl". Did I mention he is 6 minutes older than me? Do you know what happens when you take bread out of the oven early? It gets soft and gooey in the middle.

Now that you've met him. Jimi is an incredibly intelligent man, and talented. I've always known that. You don't grow up as twins in the same school and not find out one of you is less "academically inclined" than the other. While I struggled for every "D" I got, Jimi was "wallowing" on the Distinguished Honor Roll.(I'm not bitter)... What I had forgotten was how generous and incredibly thoughtful he is. Let me tell you why I admire him so much.

As we toured San Francisco it was not uncommon to see the homeless walking the streets, sleeping on park benches or scouring the trash for something to eat. It was shocking for me as I had heard about such things but had never witnessed it at in real life. Sure, I had seen disheveled people walking the streets or hanging outside local establishments panhandling for money. But I had never seen so much need right out in the open. For me it always seemed hidden away out of sight. I might not have noticed it had it not been for Jimi pointing it out. He didn't stop and say "hey there's a homeless guy". It was subtle and honest. He didn't intend to make a statement. He just wanted to do what God had done for him. God had sent someone to introduce the savior to him. He wanted to do the same.

Each time we ate Jimi would order his meal and, when it was possible, order another to go. As we left the restaurant he would look for someone who needed a meal and hand it to them and just walk away. He didn't wait for a thank you. He didn't make a spectacle of the act. He just handed it over and walked away. The first couple times I didn't notice. Eventually he caught my attention. Finally I got involved.

Jimi saw the need when all I saw was someones misfortune. Jimi filled the need while I looked for someone who should. Jimi was the embodiment of Matthew 25:35-36 and I..well... I was not. He had taken the gift he was given and shared it. I had taken the gift and hidden it away. I am reminded of the song, "This little light of mine". if you spent anytime at church camps or sunday school you know the rest of the song.

Every other experience on the trip was a blessing, I can't take that away. But this simple act of kindness was an inspiration. I can't forget it. It was a life- changing, eye-opening, God revealing, mind-opening, heart-warming simple act of love for, what I would have called, the unlovable. But God doest call them that. Never has, never will. It pains me to think of the many times God has acted in my life to remove me from danger, pick me up from my own dumb mistakes, and sent someone in to stand in my stead. I didn't realize how blind I truly was.

Jimi is only 6 minutes older than me. 6 Minutes has never felt like such huge expanse of time. But suddenly I feel there are years of wisdom packed into those six little minutes. I've said before I am lucky to have older brothers. This is yet another example why I feel that way. Thank you Jimi. It was a lesson much needed and well taught.

These are, after all, the musings of a mind that wanders.

World Conference: A modern day Sukkot

It was true for the ancients. Jahweh required faithfulness amid even the greatest temptations and pressures of life. Every Jewish male must attend the three great feasts in Jerusalem: Passover and Shavuot in the spring, and Sukkot in the fall. Sukkot was the most joyous of all the sacred days. The only feast at which Jahweh had commanded his people to rejoice before him.


In the book, “The Echoes of His presence, Stories of the Messiah From the People of His Day”, Ray Vander Laan recounts the story of Asher, a young man who had recently left home to seek his fortune, and his journey to Jerusalem for the feast of the Sukkot. He had not seen his family for several months and met them at a friends house at which they were staying. Asher relates his understanding of Jewish Law and tradition throughout his journey and contemplates, with you, over the reasons traditions have become so important to his people. He relishes in the story-telling and news of family missteps and adventures while they were apart. You begin to understand that this is real family time, not just for him and his kin, but for the family of like believers who have devoted themselves to the mission God has given them.

The feast lasted for seven days filling the streets with singing and laughter. As the week passed the celebration became increasingly intense. By the 7th day the people would pack the temple filling it with shouts of praise that could be heard throughout the city and across the surrounding countryside. The sacrifices would be made and offerings of water and wine. Thousand would sing and praise God as they waived their ceremonial palm branches to honor the Lord who had blessed them and loved them.

Imagine…..

Forward now more than 2000 years. And imagine. It is spring. Every 2 years the faithful journey to their “Jerusalem” a town in western Missouri for a gathering …a feast of sorts…renewing old friendships, making new ones caring for the needs of each and always, always honoring the God that brought them there. Here too, the weeks activities rise climatically to near fever pitch as they pray and praise and worship together. They make recommendations and receive direction as to how they are to fulfill their call to win souls for God and to bring peace and reconciliation to Gods people. It is an exciting time for them and that excitement washes upon each who come in contact with them.

I have some friends who, unwittingly, shared with me their experience at General Conference for the Community of Christ Church in Independence Mo. this past march and April. I have never met them in person but they have been kind enough to allow me to share with them in their “Cybercongregation” and in so doing, have passed on the excitement they experienced at their “Shukkot”. These are wonderful people who are generally concerned about each other and about the world around them. They want to please God not only as a child wants to please a father, but as a slave, once freed would honor his rescuer, as the created should honor their creator.

The conference is over now and much of the excitement is died down. But I can sense it…can’t you? There is an eternal flame that, now recharged , lights the path of these, his people, his children, his sons and daughters and they are committed. God has lovingly revealed to them his desires and they are responding to his call. They are in the world but are lead by a spirit not of the world, by a God who created the world, and by a Savior who gave his all, his full measure, for the world.

Something tells me the world will be a better place.


These are, after all, the musings of a mind that wanders.

Creating a New Me? Really?

Do you remember the moment you realized who Jesus was? The minute that God became real to you? The instant you realized the Spirit moving in your life to fulfill Gods desire for you in your life? Boy I do.

I had many people over the course of my life looking out for me ...so to speak. I didn't know it then. It became clear on my lowest day. On my absolutely lowest, most hopeless, most depressing day, I found out.


And I am speechless, I'm astonished and amazed
I am silenced by your wondrous grace.
You have saved me
You have raised me from the grave.
And I am speechless in your presence now.
I'm astonished as I consider how
You have shown us
A love that leaves us speechless

~Stephen Curtis Chapman~

I had heard all the stories and was involved in an energetic and spiritually alive youth group as a young adult but over the next 7 or 8 years the realities of "life" encamped around me drawing my attention away from what I knew was the truth. I still attended church, not with the same fervor and regularity, but I attended. I "honored" my wife and loved my son. I worked and worked some more. I tried to keep up with what I thought were the right things to do. But I was drifting and so was my wife.

She said straight out, "I want a a divorce". Like she had considered it for a very long time and was finally resolved to it. "I want a divorce". That was it. No explanation. No reconsideration. No sympathy. She didn't mince words. Didn't feel the need to address it subtly, gently, tenderly.

I was crushed. I had lost my wife, my son... everything. I still had a job but I didn't care. I was 27 and everything that was near and dear to me had left me. I was alone. I was hurt. I was angry. I was tired. I was alone. I was humiliated. I was lied to. I had no hope, no backbone, no reason...no reason and no hope, and then no desire...and then no desire to go on. I wanted out.

I was sitting in the living room of a dear friend who had listened to me one last time complain about my problems and what had by now become a well rehearsed re-enactment of all the unfortunate events take taken place in my life. He grabbed my hands, as he often had, and said "John, I need to pray with you now."... and he did.

To be honest, I don't remember his prayer. Not one word. I was so overcome by an incredible sense of love. I don't remember what he said. But I do remember a voice , kind and gentle, that walked me through the path that had been my life. He made clear to point out each and every step along the path where he had placed someone there just for me , just when I needed them, just in time.

I can tell you they were no few occasions. They were many. Far more than I could have possibly imagined and as overwhelmed as I was by the realization, I was more overcome by the voice. Patient and kind relating in perfect tune and time to the beat of my heart and my soul.

God loved me and he spared no expense showing me at that moment as he tried to at each event if I would only have looked to him. He sent his son to plea for me, he sent his spirit to guide me along the way. And his son offered himself in the ultimate sacrifice, a full measure, for me.

I cannot look at the cross and not see Jesus face looking , lovingly, straight into my eyes. And then, lifting his gaze up into heaven, I can hear him say, Father, I have found him.

These are after all, the musings of a mind that wanders.

On Being faithful.....learning through your failures

I used to deliver medical equipment to people at home. I was a Priest at the time and was delivering a hospital bed and Liquid Oxygen to an older lady. She was Greek or Eastern Orthodox. The orders said she was not long for this world and I was very aware that she seemed uncomfortable or mildly disturbed by something or someone.


Every time I went out to the truck I could sense this urging. It was so strong that it seemed like a voice just behind me. It would say the same thing over and over each time I went to the truck. "Maybe you should pray with her." It was early in my calling and I was still a little unsure about what God had expected of me. I finished setting up the equipment, ran the family through the demonstrations, and had them sign the paperwork. As I left the room I passed the older woman and smiled. She settled, looked up at me, and with expectant eyes smiled back. I put my hand on her arm and said goodbye praying for her as I left.

2 Days later I got a call to go back out to the house and pick up the equipment as the woman had died. As I packed up the equipment the family stood in the room talking amongst themselves about how she missed dying on her birthday by one day and how upset she was that her birthday had passed. Their apparently is some special significance in the orthodox church about leaving the world the same day you came into it. They remarked at how hard they had tried to reassure her but she remained unsettled. Needless to say I felt this huge lump in my throat and ache in my heart. I started to tear up a little and then tried to shake it off and got about to finishing my job there.

As I was leaving I walked with the daughter out to the door and looked at my truck. A tear came to my eye and started to roll down my cheek. The daughter noticed and asked me if I was okay. I related the experience I had as I was delivering the equipment. The "voice" that seemed so clear, the prompting to pray, the connection with her mother as I was leaving and my prayer for her as I left. How I was afraid I might impose on her and them and that I wasn't sure it was appropriate. She said, "Oh I wish you had prayed with her that would have meant so much to her. It would have absolutely fine with us."

Inside I was shattered. I thought my little gesture of prayer for her as I was leaving was enough. It wasn't. I wasn't supposed to pray FOR her. I was supposed to pray WITH her and I had failed.

I learned so much from that experience. I learned to expect the prompting of the spirit and then to listen intently when I do. To walk boldly in the spirit and fulfill the prompting. And to never think that almost done is good enough. When God tells you he wants you to do something he never finishes it with "or something like that".

I will never forget her eyes.
I will never forget the "voice".
I will never forget the lesson.

These are, after all, the musings of a mind that wanders.